Henry's Birth Story

***WARNING***

Viewer Discretion Advised :)

The following post contains content that may be too graphic for children and some adults. 

It's also a short novel- Enjoy!

On Thursday morning, 6 days after my due-date, I woke up at 5:30am to pee. It was at that time when I noticed that I was spotting, and I got really excited. I thought it might be the beginning of my mucous plug or "bloody show", which meant baby was on his way. But I didn't get my hopes up because it could have just been a result from having sex the night before. Yes- we had sex. You shouldn't be surprised that this happens because I was pregnant... And if you don't know, Cameron is the father. If this is too much for you already, you should probably stop reading here. 

Around 8am, Cameron was getting ready for school and just as we were about to get in the car to drop him off, I offhandedly mentioned that I had been spotting the past few hours, but that he shouldn't worry because it was just from sex, which is very common to spot after late in pregnancy. Cameron stopped in his tracks and said "WHAT? Have you called the Doctor? You need to call the doctor. Are you having the baby today? Should I go to class? Is everything okay? Spotting is NOT normal. You need to call the doctor. My pregnant wife is bleeding. This is not okay. Call the doctor right now." 

I didn't want to call the doctor because I knew what they were going to say: Spotting after intercourse is very common late in pregnancy and it's nothing to be concerned about. I didn't want to call. But Cameron wasn't going anywhere until I did, so I conceded. At this point I was having contractions about every 10 minutes apart, but this was nothing new. I had been having what they call Braxton Hicks contractions since I was about 5 months pregnant, and these didn't feel any different. 

I called the doctor's office around 8:30am, but they were in a meeting, so I left a message. Cameron wasn't satisfied, so he had me call Labor and Delivery at the hospital. I spoke to one of the nurses and she basically said, "I can't say whether anything is wrong or not over the phone. If you're concerned, come in and get checked out." So that was that. Cameron was still freaking out and decided he was for sure not going to class that day and was going to do whatever we could to get baby here. 

For the next couple of hours, my "contractions" got closer together and at one point were 3-5 minutes apart. But they weren't painful. And my doctor had said that they would be painful and to not go to the hospital until they started to hurt. My nurse from the doctor's office called me back around 10ish and I told her about the spotting, to which she replied was from sex, like I had predicted she would. But then I told her the contraction were 5 minutes apart, to which she replied, "Oh, well then it sounds like you're in the early stages of labor. Good luck!" I kinda felt like I was deceiving her. Like I knew what to say for her to take me seriously and not brush me off. But, looking back on it, I really was having contractions and they were real, not just Braxton Hicks, so I wasn't completely lying when I said they were 5 minutes apart... Anyway. 

I spent the next few hours bouncing on an exercise ball a friend had lent me, while I timed every contraction. Sometimes they were only 30 seconds long and over 15 minutes apart, whereas other times they were 60 seconds long and only 2 minutes apart. There was such a wide range that it was hard for me to tell whether they were getting closer together. Some were strong. Some were weak. Sometimes I couldn't tell if I was having one or not. When you're looking for something, you're going to find it- which is how I felt with contractions. Was that a contraction? Yeah definitely. Well, maybe not. Ugh, I don't know! 

I figured today was the day, so I took a shower and a nap in preparation for the big event. I knew that as soon as we went to the hospital, I wouldn't be allowed to eat, so all day I was making sure to eat, eat, eat, so that I wouldn't be starving whenever we ended up going. Cameron wanted to get baby out, so he suggested we go on a walk. To convince me, he bribed me with Chickfila for lunch. 

After Chickfila, we went to a local book/video store to walk around. It was around this time (3ish?) that the contractions started to become uncomfortable. I remember looking at baby journals and having a strong contraction and wanting to leave the store immediately and I couldn't find Cameron. I walked past every book aisle and still couldn't find him and I ended up having to call his cell to locate him in the Children's book area. 

I was very done with walking, so we went home so I could bounce on the ball. Cameron needed to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy that day, so the deal was that after we picked up his pills that evening, we would drop by the hospital for me to get checked out to see if I was actually in labor or not. So around 6pm, we got to the hospital and I told the receptionist, "Hi, I think I'm in labor..." and they opened the doors graciously and took us in.

At 6:30pm, my nurse, whose name was Anna (which made it easy for me to remember :)) checked me and said that I was dilated to a 1 and was 50% effaced. To me, this was exciting news because I hadn't had any progress at all in all my doctor's appointments leading up to this. An hour whizzed by and I had progressed to a 2! She told us we could stay one more hour to see if we made any more progress, and an hour later I was at a 3, so they decided to admit me. The doctor that was on-call was already there, so she came in and broke my water.

That. Was. Weird. As soon as the doctor broke my water, I felt this very warm, thick, liquid pouring out of me. And it didn't stop. It felt like I peed my pants, over and over again. It just keeps leaking out of you. 

At this point, I lose track of time. The contractions were coming closer together, maybe 5-6 minutes apart? I don't really know. I just focused on them one at a time. In our birth class, they taught us to focus on our breathing- 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out. So that's what I focused on the whole time. In the beginning, it was no big deal. I can count to 4 a few times in a row, no problem. But when the contractions started getting stronger and longer... Oh My Gosh. How many 4 seconds are in a freaking minute?!! This is the worst. 

Let's just talk about contractions for a minute here. They were nothing like I expected. Whenever I imagined pain from a contraction, I always thought it would be like a piercing, burning, my-vagina-is-going-to-rip open, OUCH feeling. It was nothing like that. For me, contractions felt like period cramps. Like, my ovaries hurt and this is really uncomfortable and I feel really, really icky and nauseous. So for me, it wasn't "Ow, this is painful." It was "Ughh I feel really icky and sick. I don't like this." 

Also, I had read all of the "What Nobody Tells You About Labor" blogs, and thought I knew everything and anything that could/would happen to me. But somehow everyone forgot to mention to me the vast amount of nausea and vomit that I would experience. Let's just say, even though I aimed well enough to throw up in the teeny tiny bowl they gave me, I still managed to cover myself, my hair, my gown, the bed, and Cameron in one hurl. And I continued to puke for hours- Maybe that's why I lost track of time after about 10pm. Because I was puking. A lot.

Sometime along the way, I progressed to a 4 and then to a 5. And during this time, baby wasn't doing too well. His heart rate would drop significantly with every contraction, which they said would be normal if I were at an 8/9, but not normal for only a 4/5. His meconium (poop) also passed through me, which was another indicator that he was distressed. They tried several different things to help his heart rate stay stable. I was given an IV in case of dehydration, I was then given an oxygen mask, they started me on pitocin, I had to stay laying on my left side, etc. But nothing was helping him. The scary part was that his heart rate was dropping just after the peak of the contractions, which they told us indicated that his umbilical cord might be wrapped around his neck. 

Meanwhile, I am still vomiting like none other and feel like crap. And it dawned on me, I have a way out. I can get an epidural. Why didn't I think of this before? There is absolutely no reason I shouldn't get an epidural. Why would anyone do this naturally? I want the epidural. Please. No more pain and vomit for me. I made it to a 5; that was my goal. I did it. Now, give me the epidural. So I told the nurse and she went to find the anesthesiologist for me. A few minutes later, she comes back in and informed me that the other girl in labor that night was in the middle of getting a c-section, which meant that the anesthesiologist was unavailable for at least an hour until the other girl was out of surgery. 

I'm sorry, what? An hour? That's not going to work for me. 

But, she said, we can give you this strong pain medication through your IV. It won't take the pain completely away. It will take the edge off of the contractions. The baby has the potential to be lethargic when he's born, but probably not because you'll only be on it for an hour until you can get the epidural and he's still got awhile until he's here.

I don't care. Give me that. 

So she puts me on this medication- I don't know what it's called. But for the purpose of this story, she basically gave me LSD. I'm not kidding. I've never done drugs before until now. And this stuff was CRAZY. I was hallucinating and seeing all sorts of colors and shapes, which turned into mazes, and Oh My Gosh, where am I? I can't even really describe to you what I experienced because I was tripping out of my mind the entire time. It was an out-of-body experience. I would completely forget that I was in labor until a contraction came and then I was brought back to this dimension for 30 seconds or so and then I would disappear again into LaLa land. Very strange experience to say the least. 

At some point the IV wore off and I started to come back to reality. I felt confused/disoriented for awhile after the drug wore off, so my sense of time is completely skewed. Anna, our nurse, came in and asked me if I for sure wanted the epidural and I said Yes. Definitely. So, the anesthesiologist came in and inserted the epidural. I didn't even feel her put it in. The only thing I felt was a funny electrical shock shoot through my left leg, which made it kick. That was pretty cool. 

Almost instantly did I start to lose feeling in my lower half. My left side went numb pretty quickly, but my right took some more finagling. As I'm losing feeling, the doctor came in and said "The baby's heart rate isn't getting better. We want your baby to be safe. We're going to need to do a C-section now." 

What? But I just got my epidural. I'm here for the long-haul. I don't want a c-section. I didn't prepare for this. I'm not ready. I thought I had more time? I thought we were going to wait and see if it got better? Okay, I said. I want him to be safe.

What did I just agree to? What's happening? Did I just agree to a c-section? This is happening way too fast. What's going on? 

My nurse looks me in the eyes and says, "I'm going to be here with you the whole time. I'm not leaving your side. We're going to wheel you into the OR now, okay? Cameron, here's your outfit. Join us in the OR when you're dressed." By this time I'm only 80% numb and nervous I'm going to feel the surgery. I told the doctor I wasn't fully numb yet and she told me they would do a test poke before she started to make sure I couldn't feel anything.

*Side note* I'm really, really glad that I asked for the epidural when I did because if I hadn't, they would have had to put me under and I would've missed his whole birth. And that would have been really sad. 

They wheeled me across the hall into this really bright room. A bunch of nurses appeared out of nowhere and together, they picked up my body and moved it onto the operating table. Now, that's a weird sensation. Not being able to control your body and seeing nurses move your legs and not being able to feel it. At all. So strange. By this time the epidural had completely kicked in and I couldn't feel anything. 

They had me lay on the table with my arms spread out to the side, like I'm on the cross. It was a very vulnerable feeling. Cameron soon appeared and stayed by my head. As I'm talking to him, telling him that I wasn't prepared for a c-section, they put up the curtain and I feel them pushing around my stomach. I'm waiting for the test-poke, but it never came. I thought they were just prepping me for surgery, but about 5 minutes later, if that, it was time to "push". I hear them count to three and then I feel 4 nurses push the top of my stomach, and like squeezing a tube of toothpaste, our baby was born and we heard him cry for the first time!

What? I didn't know they had started yet! Where was the test poke? He's already here? What the... We have a baby?! But that was so fast! Oh, look at him. He's okay. My baby is going to be okay. 

That is the best sound in the whole world. Hearing him cry for the first time. Knowing that he is okay and he is alive and kicking. Makes me cry every time I think of that moment. 

The nurse cleaned him off, weighed him, measured him, and gave him to Cameron. Cameron held him for a minute and then brought him over to me and I held him for the first time. And my heart melted. And I was in complete disbelief. I couldn't believe he was here! I was ready to wait many more hours for him to get here and he got here in about 5 minutes! I thought, Why didn't we just do this from the beginning? That was so quick! I didn't have to do anything! That was so easy! I don't actually mean that though. I would have much preferred delivering normally, but that's life. 

After a few minutes of holding Henry, they took him away to do whatever they do, and put me back together. Around this time, I began to feel nauseous again and asked for a bowl. Sorry no bowl, here's a tiny cup. And since you're in the middle of surgery, just turn your head to the side and aim for this cup. Awesome. Just let it drip down your cheek. Smell it up. 

Can I have some water? This vomit doesn't taste so great.

Uh, no... Sorry.

Dangit. Oh well. 

They eventually put everything back where it belongs and wheeled me off to recovery where I really got to hold Henry, feed him, and start to get to know him. And finally drink some water.

Henry: He was/is the most precious little person there ever was. It's hard to describe what a mother's love feels like, but it's powerful. I love him from the deepest parts of my soul. He is my center of attention. His needs/wants come before mine. He is beautiful. He is innocent, kind, forgiving, loving, tender, patient, and he is my son. I want to give him the world. I never want to see him struggle or be in pain and I want to do everything for him. (I know I need to let him struggle and go through the pains of life; I just don't want to. Don't worry- Cameron is here to balance me out.) He is my everything and I am beyond excited to watch him and help him grow up. And at the same time, it makes my heart hurt to see him get bigger and learn new things. He is the best addition to our family that we could have ever asked for. 

Breastfeeding: I was really nervous about breastfeeding since a lot of my friends told me how painful it can be. I was determined to push through it and endure for as long as I could. And guess what, it hasn't been bad! The first week or two was painful, but that's it. My nipples have adjusted and Henry is a champ. He got the hang of it really fast and we have been a good team. I'm not a pro at it yet, by any means, but we've got a good thing going for us. And I'm telling you this, not to brag or boast, but to give mom-to-be's some hope. Breastfeeding doesn't have to be painful and can actually be a good experience. I used to think it was a reeeally weird concept, but I would have never said that out loud in fear of retribution. But for some reason, as soon as he was born, something just clicked in my mind and it wasn't weird anymore. It made sense and was completely normal. It was like flipping a switch for me.

C-Section: Not once during the whole pregnancy did I consider a c-section as an option. I didn't consider it as even a possibility. Never crossed my mind. I didn't want to have a c-section. I didn't want surgery. I wanted the euphoric feeling that comes with pushing a baby out. I wanted that great story about how hard I worked to get him here. And sometimes it feels like I got robbed of giving birth to my son. I didn't push him out; the nurses and doctor did. I just laid there, helplessly, as my doctor gave birth to him. Not me. I know I went through 41 weeks of pregnancy and 9 hours of labor, but I still feel like I missed out. I'm working on accepting my c-section and focusing on the fact that it saved my son's life. Not to mention, his huge cone-head, which they said indicated he was trying to descend but was too big to fit through my pelvis. The nurses said I probably would have ended up with a c-section anyway since he wouldn't have been able to fit through. So, at least I didn't have to go through many more hours of labor and hours of pushing and still end up with a c-section. So that's good. But it's still hard. Knowing that I couldn't bring him into this world on my own, that I needed medical intervention. Although cliche, I think it's one of those things that unless you personally have had a c-section, you won't understand. 

What does that mean for future babies? I don't know. I'm hoping to be able to give birth vaginally in the future, but I'm not going to worry about that until the time comes. I will say, I'm not going to let this affect how many kids I have. Even if I have to have c-sections for the rest of my babies. 

Either way, I'm just grateful for the ability to carry a baby for 9 months and get a healthy, beautiful, baby boy out of it. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be his mother and to raise him to be a good man. God is good. And He has blessed us so much these last 10 months. I cannot begin to thank Him enough.

Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment!

9:30pm before things got ugly AKA covered in vomit

Just before surgery

First time holding Henry

Right after they put me back together

Father and son

First family photo

Me and Henry

Henry!

If you have any questions regarding my c-section, recovery, or Henry, feel free to message me, and I would be happy to answer. I look forward to sharing our family memories with y'all on this blog as Henry gets older. Thanks for reading!

Anna